Biscuit Case
by Skylo
Summary: Gir makes Zim some wierd biscuits. Weirdness ensues. ZAGir. A fic I made a long time ago.


Gir hummed a tune as he happily stirred his batter. It was almost ready. Gir opened the compartment in his head and rummaged around a bit. Finding what he was looking for, he pulled his hand out to reveal a plastic bag, filled with sugar. The SIR unit scooped up a handful and added it to the mix.  
He knew his master loved sugar.  
It was nice of Dib to let him borrow some.

After stirring the batter a little more, he took a spoon and slapped globs of it onto the pan, and popped them into the oven.  
He then proceeded to pester his master.  
He found Zim in his lab, taping metal parts to a gopher.

"MASTEERRRRRRRRR!" Gir sang as he entered the room.  
Zim cringed at the high-pitched robotic voice. Gir bounced up to him, making little excited noises. He sighed impatiently and stuck a piece of tape to Gir's forehead.  
The robot immediately fell silent and sat down, mesmerized by it.  
His master rolled his eyes.  
"Why am I not surprised that worked?"

A small ding went off upstairs, but Gir paid no mind.  
Zim squinted an eye at him but said nothing, waiting too see how long he could stay enchanted by the small piece of tape. Gir blinked at it a few times, appearing to snap out of his trance, and reached up to stick it to Zim's face. He giggled and raced towards the elevator. Zim grinned and pulled it off, catching onto the game.

- (a few minutes later)

Zim laughed and shoved the tape in Gir's mouth. The SIR unit stood there a minute, eyes crossed in confusion, and spit it out. Before his master could react, he jumped up and stuck it to his antenna.

Zim stiffened at the contact, and collapsed on the floor, staring at the ceiling and purring loudly.  
Gir did a little victory dance.

"I WINNNN!"

Suddenly, he smelled something.  
Something strange.

"MY BISCUITS!" he cried, bolting into the kitchen to rescue them. He had burnt a lot of things because of his master distracting him. Especially his precious taquitoes.  
Gir pulled the flaming biscuits out of the oven, and stomped on them until the fire went out. Zim entered, looking slightly amused at the scene.  
He regretted the whole tape incident when Gir insisted he eat one.  
"I don't know if that's such a good idea..." he said uneasily, casting a fearful glance at at the burnt, mutilated biscuits. Gir began to cry and scream and throw a big tantrum, and his master immediately started apologizing and begging him to calm down. The robot smiled to himself.  
_Master is such a softie._  
He watched intently as Zim nibbled on one. His expression changed and he smiled at Gir, stuffing the rest of it in his mouth. "Mmmm this is good. What's in it?"  
The SIR unit grinned proudly. "SUGAR!"  
Zim nodded. "No kidding."  
He handed a biscuit to Gir and finished the rest.

- (an hour later)

Zim bolted around the house, dusting and scrubbing every surface he could reach. Gir pouted as his master started to clean him. He was blocking his view of the television. He finished cleaning a few more things and cuddled up on the couch next to Gir. He pressed himself close and snuggled into his neck. His skin felt like 1000 degrees! And Gir's cold metal body felt good against his.  
Gir smiled to himself. _Master is so warm._  
Zim moved his arms from Gir's shoulders to his waist, and began kissing his neck.  
The SIR unit giggled happily. His master had never been so nice to him before.  
He flinched away for a moment when he bit him, moved back when Zim started kissing him again. It felt so nice.  
He sighed, content, and curled up into a little ball. They both fell asleep.

- (next morning)

Zim groaned and sat up, his head pounding.  
Noticing Gir, he pushed him away, embarrassed. The robot mumbled something and shifted in his sleep a few times, missing the warmth. Zim twirled an antenna around his finger, puzzled.  
"I was sleeping?"  
He scratched his head.  
"Zim never sleeps!"  
He rushed to the elevator, fearing the worst of his lab. Instead, he was surprised to find his experiment finished. He scratched his head again.  
"I don't remember doing that..."  
Zim went back upstairs and noticed a dirty cookie sheet on the floor in the kitchen.  
"Gir?"  
Gir walked into the room, humming to himself. He hugged him. "Yes?"  
Zim wiggled out of his grip.  
"Erm... What happened here?"  
The robot smiled. "We ate biscuits!"

_What ACTUALLY happened last night?!_

He looked around uncomfortably, fear creeping up on him again.  
"What did you put in them?"  
Gir grinned wide. "Butter, flour, water-"  
"What ELSE?!"  
Gir presented the baggie.  
"Well Dib gave me some sugar..."  
Zim's antennae twitched with interest. He snatched it away, sniffed it, gagged, and tossed it in the trash.  
"HEY! Why'd you do that?!" Gir whined.  
Zim scowled. "Don't EVER accept ANYTHING the Dib-monkey gives you- EVER!"  
Tears welled up in the robot's big, blue eyes. He didn't want to make his master mad at him.  
"Why?"  
Zim sighed loudly and picked him up. Gir's eyes widened as his master's warm lips met his.  
Zim set him down awkwardly, wiping his mouth and blushing, pretending to be disgusted.  
"That wasn't sugar." He whispered to him before entering the lift and going to his lab.  
Gir stood there a moment, a shocked expression on his face.  
He giggled like a maniac and slipped on his disguise, rushing out the door to pay Dib a visit.

~FIN~

You like the title?  
You know instead of "basket case"?

I'm funny (not)

This loosely based on the episode "The Girl Who Cried Gnome."  
The part when he says he "doesn't remember programming it to do that"? Well it's because he doesnt remember what happened last night!

And how about when Gir asks him about biscuits, and Zim says "no Gir, never, I never want you to mention biscuits ever again." and Gir's face is like "oh shit..."  
all i could think of was Gir isn't getting any satisfaction tonight!

can anyone guess what the "sugar" was?!


End file.
